You can’t afford NOT to build self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the most important workplace skill. Here’s why.

One skill clearly stands out to me as being the most important: self-awareness. Let me explain why.

What is self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the quality of moving within, of examining our thoughts, emotions, biases, reactions, experiences, strengths, and weaknesses and seeing how those interact and intersect with the world around us. You might consider introspection, mindfulness, and meta-cognition as synonyms.

When a person is self-aware, they start to understand how their thoughts and emotions work. They can appreciate some of the patterns in their reactions to certain types of events. They start to recognize habitual stories they tell themselves. They are conscious of how emotional responses might influence their decisions. The self-aware are familiar with their strengths and with their weaknesses. They are in tune with their body and how it responds to situations.

That list is intimidating. If you consider yourself to be moderately self-aware but reading that list made you recoil, don’t despair. That list is meant to help you understand what self-awareness entails. Putting a checkmark beside each of those items is not required to be considered self-aware.

In fact, self-awareness is not something we ever master. Few of us in this world will ever delve so deep within that we will hit a limit to our capacity to learn more about ourselves. We can always improve our level of self-awareness. In a way, self-awareness begets the need for more self-awareness. We might unearth one morsel of wisdom about ourselves, only to realize that knowing this means we need to figure something else out.

Far from discouraging, this is the beauty of self-awareness. We can always learn more about who we are.

Self-awareness is indeed a skill.

It often surprises people to hear that self-awareness is a skill. A lot of us assume that self-awareness is merely something we’re born with, an immutable personal characteristic: either you’re self-aware or you’re not.

However, if you consider what a skill is, the aptness of labelling self-awareness in this way is clear. A skill is the ability to do something well. It’s something we build, something we work at getting good at it. A person need only consider the fact that they are more self-aware today than they were at some point in the past to accept that self-awareness is indeed something a person can get better at. Therefore, due to its developability, it is a skill.

Why self-awareness is the most important skill.

Not only is self-awareness a skill but I also believe it is the most important one. It is the foundation for all other skills that figure prominently into success in today’s workplace. Self-awareness underpins leadership, decision-making, communication, negotiation, emotional regulation, adaptability, professionalism, among so many others.

Want to be a better communicator? Not without self-awareness.

Communication in all its forms, written or spoken, formal or informal, hinges on the insight that comes from strong self-awareness. Without understanding your blind spots or proclivities, how can you hope to get your message across in a way that is meaningful to the people you are trying to reach?

Want to build stronger professional relationships? Not without self-awareness.

A lack of self-awareness is the primary obstacle to professional relationship-building. Challenges on this front often stem from biases, unhindered emotional responses, misinterpretations. When we understand the role we play in an interaction or relationship, we open ourselves up to making adjustments.

Want to make better decisions? Not without self-awareness.

Strong decision-making depends first on being able to objectively assess data and outcomes from various angles. You can’t do that if you are swayed by biases you did not know you had or are trying to avoid something you were not aware you were afraid of.

Basically, name a skill and I will tell you why self-awareness is integral to it.

While it’s true that a person could have a certain level of natural talent in any one of those other skills, their ability to improve in those areas would be hindered by underdeveloped self-awareness.

People generally don’t prioritize self-awareness.

Notwithstanding its significance, people generally don’t prioritize building self-awareness. In some cases, the obstacle is one that I’ve already addressed: people don’t realize it is a skill in the first place.

However, beyond that, even when people see self-awareness as a skill, they don’t think it’s as important as the other capabilities they can build in the workplace.

Sometimes, self-awareness is viewed as a critical skill but isn’t something that is discussed. Think of a leader who feels that one of their employees lacks self-awareness. This is not a topic that comes up a lot in a person’s development plan. While there is a way to do it, there is awkwardness in one person telling another that their primary opportunity for development lies in working on their self-awareness. While often a valuable suggestion, it can easily be taken as a personal affront. So, it tends to be avoided as a topic of discussion, which means we can’t rely on others to tell us when we need to work on this skill.

 

Self-awareness is a skill we must choose to build for ourselves.

This makes viewing it as a skill and appreciating its value that much more important.

An individual might see the value of spending time building their own self-awareness but they are hesitant to do so, perhaps even afraid to do so. I understand this. We don’t want to have to look at our flaws or our mistakes or our painful memories. It can be intimidating to look squarely in the face at that which we have worked hard at burying or ignoring for most of our lives.

However, self-awareness is so much more than a focus on the negative. There’s also tremendous joy in learning about yourself, in connecting the dots, and in understanding in very practical ways how your tendencies or idiosyncrasies impact areas of your life you previously did not appreciate.

Building self-awareness does not have to be a big deal.

What’s unique about self-awareness is the plethora of options that exist for building this skill. With other skills like negotiation, communication, and presentation, you are limited to the usual combination of reading, training, coaching, or listening to podcasts.

While these things are also wonderful places to start, when it comes to building self-awareness, the options span a far wider range of activities. Consider things like meditation, reflection, journaling, mindfulness, mind-body awareness, yoga, even.

Basically, any activity that prompts you to be silent and examine your inner landscape or experiences is something that will empower you to build self-awareness.

Where you choose to start doesn’t really matter. Read a self-help book, dedicate 5 minutes in the morning to breathwork, join a neighbourhood gym. It’s all good. Even the smallest undertakings can build self-awareness.

What matters is the intention you bring to these activities.

To help make your self-awareness journey a positive one, the mindset you bring to building this skill is more important than the specific actions you take.

The key is to approach building self-awareness with curiosity, openness, a willingness to see what’s really going on, and compassion.

Compassion is paramount.

Sometimes we realize things about ourselves that make us uncomfortable. Sometimes these things upset us.

Our quest for greater self-awareness should not be synonymous with an exercise in ruthlessness or self-denigration. While the need to remain objective is paramount, we must proceed with grace and kindness. Otherwise, we’ll get nowhere. Sometimes we need to push ourselves past discomfort. Other times, it’s wiser to hold off. No matter what we choose, we have to be kind to ourselves.

Implicit in building self-awareness is a willingness to act on what you learn.

There’s no point in recognizing how your assumptions are affecting your interactions if you don’t care to adjust those assumptions in any way.

However, swift action is not always required. Sometimes it takes us some time to fully understand how an aspect of ourselves manifests or what its scope truly is.

When compared to other skills, self-awareness is far less cut-and-dry. There’s ambiguity here, in part because our observations about yourselves might be blurred by the very things we are trying to observe. Are our biases influencing how we see our biases? Do our high standards distort how we perceive our flaws?

Building self-awareness needs to be a gentle path. Yet make no mistake, it is a powerful one that can also be dotted with much joy and self-fulfillment.

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Bring the power of self-awareness to your team!

My work focuses on helping teams and individuals build greater harmony. This is more important than ever because, as A.I. takes over routine tasks, the work left behind is increasingly human. I believe it is difficult (if not impossible) for harmony to exist on teams when there are gaps in professionalism, self-awareness, and people skills. That's where I come in. I work with organizations as a speaker, facilitator, and people development partner to help strengthen these skills on their teams. I also work directly with individuals who want a more customized approach to building certain skills or navigating specific issues.

All posts on my website are written by me, not by A.I.